Hope

Can't live with it - can't live without it. Hope creeping in increases the potential for extreme emotional disappointment.

Hope and excitement are starting to creep in for our DE cycle. I'm still a little disappointed (ok a lot disappointed and still very angry and sad) that MY eggs don't work. I'm also sad at some of the/my physical characteristics we had to give up in order to find a donor we liked who was willing to donate this year.

It hurts to know that my baby (if we're so lucky) could never have brown eyes, since our donor blue eyes. Even though we don't know that he/she would anyway, it's the fact that the possibility isn't there.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will love any baby we get with my whole heart - I just hope some of the sadness that it can't happen the way it's "supposed" to goes away.