Four

That's how many of the 8 eggs fertilized. Five fewer eggs than last cycle - four fewer mature eggs. Four embryos that are being watched until our transfer day. It's also 2 fewer embryos than we had at this point last cycle. 2 fewer chances that we might not be cancelled again.

I've read all the personal stories from ladies who had only 1 or 2 embryos at the time of their fert report and they have 1 or 2 little babies to show for it. I try to tell myself that if it's possible for them, it's possible for us. And then I remember Dr Y taking us to his office in Dec - when we should have been going to change for our transfer. I remember how sad and defeated my husband looked when he told us our embryos had all arrested around day 4.

The fear of that happening again has my heart racing.

When the nurse called with the fert report, I asked if there was any way of knowing if there would be embryos before we got to the clinic. The short answer is 'no'. They check the embryos on day 3, but not communicate with patients. Then they don't check the embryos again until we're in the office for the transfer. So, I guess that means they won't know until we get there, either. Not that it makes me feel any better.

I briefly considered calling on Monday morning to get an update - but do I really want to know? Would that just make me more stressed out to know that I only have one or two embryos that are still chugging along normally? Probably not. That just means I have to wait until Tuesday and keep telling my little foursome to keep growing.