I've been feeling quiet

Late last month/early this month DH and had finally come to an agreement on what we were going to do. I honestly don't feel all that comfortable sharing some of these decisions on my Blog because I'm not sure who (someone who knows us) might be reading it.

Anyway, we had decided that we were going to do something that involved IVF (maybe even something that might give us an embryo or two to transfer?) before the end of the year - that would mean starting at the end of this month.
Exciting - maybe what we're changing could do the trick?!?!
Terrifying - it would be just a few days different than our first IVF last year (terrible
horrible failure). Could I really handle another Christmas like that?

At our clinic they like to do an SHG if it's been a year or more. Given the results last year, I expected to go in, take my pants off, put my pants back on, and be merrily on my way.

Of course, life is rarely that easy. My ute, the one thing we thought we had going for us, has decided not to play nice. After two attempts at injecting saline and a couple people leaning all over my legs trying to get a closer view at the u/s screen, my optimism was fading. I have a fibroid - and not the kind I can have removed with a hysteroscopy and be on my merry way. It has to be removed via abdominal incision. And then we have to wait 3 months before we can try any treatments. And not having it removed isn't an option (unless we decide not to pursue a pregnancy).

So now, who knows what will happen. I have to schedule the procedure during the first half of my cycle and we're trying to decide if we want to risk it working out in Dec (if it doesn't we will have to wait until Jan or possibly Feb) or if we should get it over with in Nov. Plus, this gives us more time to change our minds. DH has recently become open to more of our options and that isn't making any of this easier.

Seriously, I spend 6 months trying to want what he does and then he goes and changes his mind. crap, crap, crap

In the mean time, I'm taking CoQ10 (haven't figured out how much...so if you have been taking it, how much have you been taking?) and I started DHEA the other day. I think this has raised my hopes too much but if I try it maybe I'll be able to move on when this doesn't work.