completely selfish

I've spent the last week thinking a lot about the different options we have for building our family. I figure it's better to start thinking about it now, rather than waiting and only starting to think about it after bad news.
The problem is even though I know I'd be ok with adoption, thinking about it still makes me sad. I am a little less convinced that I would be ok with some of our options that involve the genetics of someone other than DH or myself. I am considering the idea of embryo donation/adoption though... it seems like it could be a doable compromise. I just struggle with how we would explain some of these more unusual choices to our child/children and families (and I suppose friends - because once you tell a child something it really won't be a secret much longer) and how it will affect their sense of self as they grow.
I guess I am feeling very selfish. I want to experience pregnancy and feel my baby growing inside me. I want to feel the kicks and have that bonding experience and I'm not at all ready to give up on that idea. I think that will be the hardest part. That and the potential that we will never have a baby that we look and and debate on which features come from who. I want to experience the joys and frustrations of raising an infant.

I know in the end genetics aren't a deciding factor and really don't matter - it's a hard idea to get over. In the end, I just want to be able to see DH with our baby - however we get to that point.

Problem is I want to be able to have sex with my husband and create our child and that's not going to happen (note to God: still leaving that one up to You.... I've heard that You can perform miracles and this would be a huge one that wouldn't go unnoticed! I'm even ok with miracles performed through medical technology.) I don't want to wonder where I'm going to come up with the cash for an infant adoption. I don't want to wonder if there is something we did that got us to this point or why God chose this for us. I don't like feeling the unfairness that some child molesters and abusers can have a baby no problem and we may end up facing home visits and others questioning our potential skills as parents before we even have a chance to try.