I am feelin' the love

It seems Hope is Ours nominated me for an award?!? My first thought was to be extremely flattered. That was quickly followed by shock that someone looked past all my choppy sentences, incomplete thoughts, and poor editing to nominate me. Amanda's blog is full of many emotions that I recognize (expressed more clearly than I can seem to get things out) plus so much determination and faith.




The rules for this award are simple. I LOVE YOU equals 8 letters which gives you 8 rules:

1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award and write a little bit about why you love them.
2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4-Nominate no more than 17 people (why 17?) who you love or you think could use some love.
5-Write one word (you can only use a word once) about what you love about their blog.
6-You cannot nominate someone who has already been nominated-the love has to spread to all.
7-Post links to the 17 blogs you nominate.
8-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

I pass the love on to the following :

This is where I'm going to completely cop out. What can I say - I'm a rule breaker ;)

Most of the blogs I read are listed and linked - although I admit it's a bit out of date. I've started following quite a few other blogs and will work to get my list updated.

Wow

I am totally overwhelmed. We had our class today and I got my calendar (YAY!) - but holy crap! There sure area a lot of things we can mess up. DH actually compared the follistim pen to particle physics (I'm hoping we couldn't get it to work correctly because there was no cartridge in it?)

Our embryo transfer will be right around 9 months from when we got our dx. It has really been a crazy year. It's insane that after all this waiting we might actually have a chance at getting pregnant! Next week I start antibiotics and the week after I'll be starting lupron. Yes, there will still be a few weeks of waiting while I'm on lupron. The big difference is that I'll be doing something!

My coworker made an excellent point today- even though there is a chance this won't work, it's the closest I'll ever be to pregnant. No matter what the odds are, without IVF our odds are 0 and anything will be better odds than that!

Forward Progress

I took my first (well 2 actually) BCP pill and baby aspirin this evening. Tomorrow we get our calendar and have at least a few questions answered. Now that I know starting my cycle early won't push our IVF off another month, I'm excited to have gained 3-4 days I wasn't expecting ;)

Look out clinic, here I come - please don't get sick of me too soon. :) I actually left 2 messages today just to tell them I'd started my period and wanted to know if it would postpone things because we hadn't had our class yet. I'm sure the nurses loved that. But, I figured that after 4 hours of no return call, it was ok for me to call again. I can't be the worst patient they've ever dealt with, right?

I thought I was better....

After the last set of results I was able to (temporarily) let go of some of my sadness and bitterness. I was starting to feel better and was even able to go to scrapbook night with my friends. It still wasn't easy (I am the only one of the group who hasn't been pregnant or have children), but I was able to talk to our friend about his triathlon experience and the training I'm doing.

For some reason last night was harder. Could it have been the very, due any day pregnant friend? Maybe her presence was enough to turn most of the conversation to pregnancy, labor, and children. Not a whole lot I can contribute to that. I could give my opinion on how I think I would like my labor would go, if we have a baby - but that's just setting things of for the "you'll see" type comments. No thanks.

So instead, I spent more time hanging out with the boys and played Farkle for a bit. :)

Add to those leftover feelings of being left out to the fact that my period started a good 3 days early and I'm in a funk. In 24 cycles I haven't had a cycle that short and the cycle where it matters to me how long it is, I get thrown for a loop. Tomorrow morning I'll call the clinic and hopefully it won't be too late or matter that we haven't taken our class yet. I imagine they'll put me on the BCP and I can take that without going to a class - I have before, anyway....

It's a Small World

I think I've mentioned before that I have a co-worker that recently started at the same clinic we are using. Well, it looks like I know another IRL member of the "club" (as she put it). I was in a meeting the other day and she announced that she was going to be missing work for Drs appointments because she is doing IVF! How crazy!

After our meeting, I decided to tell her that we're getting ready to start a cycle as well. It turns out that there was an IVF class the same afternoon as her SHG and she was able to attend. If she hadn't gotten into that class we would have both been in the class next week! It's been nice to have someone to talk to about things and the recent baby boom at work. She even let me read through the paperwork we'll have to sign when starting to cycle. The not so good part is that I got to see all her bruises the other day :( I am not looking forward to the injections and all the blood draws.

Dh and I are both getting very anxious for our class next week and I'm hoping I don't get my period early. I'll be perfectly happy with it coming on time (the day of our class) or a couple days later. Since we don't know our protocol or have a calendar it's been hard to plan for the holidays - or at least that's my excuse for being so impatient. I really just dislike the unknown!

I DO have questions!

LOTS and LOTS of them. The shear number and stupidity of the questions amaze me - they're not worth calling the Dr to ask them (let's face it -- I think the clinic would probably want to have me committed if I did call).

I would have thought that the appointment I already had would have been a good time/place to ask these crazy questions. Instead, when the Dr asked if I had any questions I said "Not yet". WHAT?!? It seems I lose brain function when sitting on an exam table with no pants on. What didn't I ask? (I'm only adding the ones that don't make me look crazy and paranoid)

• What kind of chance he thinks we have for a successful cycle
• If there is anything I can do to help the cycle be successful
• I have a few questions about exercise - what and how much he thinks is ok
• When we can start a cycle and how long it would take (aka would we be done before Christmas) --- this was a big one-How didn't I ask that?
  

Anyway, the anticipation of the SHG was much worse than the actual experience. I'm assuming I'll start to get over the whole 'RE being a man' thing. I think I'm making progress on that front.

We talked with the person in the financial dept and have our IVF class scheduled. Assuming my body cooperates, I will get my period around the day of the class - hopefully that means we can start then and not have to wait until the end of Nov!

All excited for nothing

I don't really know what I was expecting to happen but I thought it would be something. Instead, I've scheduled the IVF labs, the SHG/mock transfer (I'll be honest - this does not sound like one bit of fun), and am waiting for the person in the insurance/financial dept to call me back. Once we meet with her, we will be able to schedule the IVF class - or someone will tell us when it is. Then....we wait some more and might just be able to start something when my next cycle starts.

After 6 months of not being able to do anything, you would think I was used to it. Guess not. So at least for a little while longer I'll get to work out when and how I want and I'll keep taking the baby toxic antibiotic for my acne. Maybe I'll even get to a point where my pants fit comfortably again....