So now that I've calmed down

I've had a chance to step back and relax a tiny bit. The RE called me this morning and said our scheduling issue shouldn't negatively impact our cycle. I'm trying to believe him but I wonder if he's just doing his reassuring thing.

I still don't like DH's Dr. I had forgotten how much he bugs me until we talked to him this morning. I can't put my finger on what it is.... but I don't like him. I hope we never have to talk to him again.

So really, we have Dr with good bedside manner and Dr that must have completely forgotten that his patients and their families have feelings....

Anyway, I trigger tonight and keep my fingers crossed until Thursday. Then I hope and pray harder than I've ever prayed before that we have some embryos left on transfer day and that one or two of them stick around. How the heck am I supposed to function at work for the next week?!?!

I don't handle change well

I was supposed to trigger tonight, DH's procedure tomorrow, ER on Wed. Well righty decided to be lazy - so trigger tomorrow. No big deal, right? Well, the one Dr is being a bit of an asswipe. So his procedure is tomorrow and ER on Thurs most likely. Why this time for scheduling issues?

If we have issues because of this, I'm going to flip a lid. It's not like we can just do this over and over again until it works. At this point, I wonder if it would be better to cancel so we can get everything timed like it's supposed to be. $#@!#@$! This has to work.

One more thing I never imagined doing

Last night DH and I went to see a musical put on by a college nearby. I was really excited to see it because it was a musical I was part of in High School. Plus, we never do anything on Friday night - so yay for us getting out of the house :P

Anyway, this brought up the issue of when to do my injections. I'm supposed to do the injections around the same time each night - I've picked 8:30 because I'm home and I go to bed pretty early. The problem is that the musical didn't start until 7:30 and wouldn't be over until about 10:30.

What else could I do besides pack up the meds and take them with? The original plan had been to pick a bathroom stall during intermission and be covert. That would have been great, but I got kind of creeped out thinking I might drop something on the floor - and I felt bad because there was a big long line.

"Luckily" there was a little chair and a counter that I could use... too bad it was opposite a mirror and everyone in line walked past me. So yes, if you walked past a woman with a syringe and 1.5" needle and a bunch of vials last night, that was me. And in case it was scary, I got to switch the needle out for one that was 0.5". The big shots won't start until later this week.

Oh, and just for the record. All this IF stuff is a freaking pain in the ass and inconvenience. I am sick of missing work and planning my life around Drs appointments and injections. I can't even go for a jog when I want to because I'm supposed to keep my activity to a brisk walk. I can't figure why it seems so much worse this time around.

So much for not getting my hopes up....

I have the same protocol and our chances of this next IVF working aren't great (yea, that's putting it optimistically). I know all this but today found out the clinic is switching my trigger and suddenly I've decided that's the magic change that's going to fix all our problems and make this work.

I don't even know why they are switching me to pregnyl from ovidrel this cycle (any ideas?) ... but for some reason it's increased my expectations. Someone please help me contain the crazy :) I'll be interested to see what the nurse says when I ask about the reason for the change!

I'm on vacation :)

I paid $4 to be able to connect to the wireless internet (the code works for the day, so not too bad)
It looks like it could start raining any second (scratch that. It's starting to sprinkle). And it's getting kind of chilly - guess I'm not going to work on my tan today...
I got blisters on both of my pinky toes yesterday on our walk along the beach (Our first full day here, really? I couldn't possibly trade in my sandals for the shoes I brought!)
I only have fleeting thoughts of work - I think a couple more days will cure me of that!

Color me happy :)

DH is done with his stuff today, so we're going to pack up and check into our "home base" on Kauai for the weekend. There is WAY too much for us to see before we move on to the Big Island. I think we'll have to come back sometime ;)

One year ago today

We got our diagnosis. Sometimes I think it hurts less but I think it is just different. It seems like whenever I think I'm dealing something new happens and it I feel the hurt all over again - almost like that day again.

One year of uncertainty,hope, and heartbreak. And we're getting ready to start the cycle all over again. Even though in my head I know this probably won't work, the hope is creeping back in. I hope that we're surprised and March 9, 2011 we're holding our very own proof that miracles happen.

Aloha!

I am getting excited because in a short time I will be on vacation in paradise. I cannot freaking wait. Work is sucky and I'm annoyed there all the time and I need to get away from everything. Why do I think I'll need a vacation from getting ready to go on vacation? I did a little packing tonight but will have to wait until tomorrow to finish up.

I'm close to the reaching day 10 of 30DS - I lost count because of my work trip an
d being lazy some. I will probably need to repeat quite a few days after we get back from vacation. Level 1 is still a little tough for me and Level 2 kicked my butt the last time I tried it.

AmandaMqn ( Hope is Ours )nominated me for the lovely Happy101 Award

When you receive the Happy 101 Award, you have to list 10 things that make your day and then list 10 blogs worthy of this award as well. Post a link to the blogs you nominate, and make sure you let them know that they have been nominated!

So my happy things are :
1) My beautiful 4 legged baby girl. It always makes me happy to see her so excited when I get home.
2 ) My two cats. Even though they like DH better, I still get some snuggles once in awhile.
3) VACATION!
4) My husband - he can take so many situations and say something to lighten the mood. I just wish I could do that for him.
5) We're celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary this year. :)
6) My friends at work. I am lucky to have a couple girls to vent to, no matter how petty or annoying I am being.
7) My parents. Even if we don't get along all the time :)
8) Sunny days (and when it's light out before I get up in the morning and still light after I get home from work)
9) The first flowers in the spring.
10) How I Met Your Mother and The Office among other mindless TV - sometimes cuddling on the couch after work is just what you need!

I have to get to bed but I am going to REALLY try to finish this up tomorrow night.